Baby Showers from Hell
"The baby shower from hell"--that's how a coworker described the baby shower she was putting on for someone. Between the special invitations, special food, special party favors and maybe a special venue, it was a lot of work. And she's an organized, capable person who already has a lot to do.
Someone else on a forum I read had a very special baby shower planned by family members who were going to fly across the country, stay with relatives two hours away, cook food at their house and transport it two hours away to the shower. That plan alone has a lot that can go wrong, but the family members got nasty when the OP called and asked how the plans were going. Probably, the relatives offered to do the shower on a whim without considering the time, money and logistics involved. People used to save that kind of bother for weddings.
They're not alone with celebrations gone awry. One recent survey says shoppers racked up an average of $1,054 in holiday debt this year. Tell me: how often do you get gifts you like, need or want? Would someone special to you really need to spend a lot of money to make you feel appreciated?
A generation ago, baby showers were simple parties at home with cake, punch and silly games. People had fun (as much fun as you can have at a baby shower). Around that time, a roommate of mine went into credit card debt over Christmas--then came to her senses when the bill arrived.
My point isn't to whine about "kids these days," but the use of resources. People complain that they don't have any time--then agree to plan the baby shower from hell. People complain they don't have any money--then buy a bunch of stuff that's going to get regifted or stuffed in a closet.
Enough. Celebrations have gotten out of control and they're taking away time and money some of us need to get it together. Fortunately, enough people still practice the old ways that doing so probably doesn't shock anyone. My cousin firmly said "no gifts" when she invited me for Christmas. I told my coworkers I had a no-gift policy when the subject of a gift exchange came up. (Hat tip to Sarah Knight, who explained such policies in The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck.) When two friends of mine got married, they had cake and punch in the church courtyard for their reception and stayed in a nearby city for their honeymoon. My cousin and I are still friends, my coworkers and I are still friends, and last I heard, my friends who got married are still husband and wife.
I still celebrate special occasions. I went to dinner with friends for Christmas (the weather was too iffy to make the trip to my cousin's house). Since I don't have anyone to buy gifts for, I donate to charity on Christmas. Money gift cards are good for this: if you give the whole amount to charity, you won't be left with a piddly amount on the card and the principal won't be eaten up with transaction fees. Unlike a lot of gifts, carefully considered donations for the poor are badly needed.
Of course, you might badly need your money, and there's nothing wrong with spending your gift cards on your bills. There's nothing wrong with spending your time and energy, too, on things besides celebrations run amok.
Someone else on a forum I read had a very special baby shower planned by family members who were going to fly across the country, stay with relatives two hours away, cook food at their house and transport it two hours away to the shower. That plan alone has a lot that can go wrong, but the family members got nasty when the OP called and asked how the plans were going. Probably, the relatives offered to do the shower on a whim without considering the time, money and logistics involved. People used to save that kind of bother for weddings.
They're not alone with celebrations gone awry. One recent survey says shoppers racked up an average of $1,054 in holiday debt this year. Tell me: how often do you get gifts you like, need or want? Would someone special to you really need to spend a lot of money to make you feel appreciated?
A generation ago, baby showers were simple parties at home with cake, punch and silly games. People had fun (as much fun as you can have at a baby shower). Around that time, a roommate of mine went into credit card debt over Christmas--then came to her senses when the bill arrived.
My point isn't to whine about "kids these days," but the use of resources. People complain that they don't have any time--then agree to plan the baby shower from hell. People complain they don't have any money--then buy a bunch of stuff that's going to get regifted or stuffed in a closet.
Enough. Celebrations have gotten out of control and they're taking away time and money some of us need to get it together. Fortunately, enough people still practice the old ways that doing so probably doesn't shock anyone. My cousin firmly said "no gifts" when she invited me for Christmas. I told my coworkers I had a no-gift policy when the subject of a gift exchange came up. (Hat tip to Sarah Knight, who explained such policies in The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck.) When two friends of mine got married, they had cake and punch in the church courtyard for their reception and stayed in a nearby city for their honeymoon. My cousin and I are still friends, my coworkers and I are still friends, and last I heard, my friends who got married are still husband and wife.
I still celebrate special occasions. I went to dinner with friends for Christmas (the weather was too iffy to make the trip to my cousin's house). Since I don't have anyone to buy gifts for, I donate to charity on Christmas. Money gift cards are good for this: if you give the whole amount to charity, you won't be left with a piddly amount on the card and the principal won't be eaten up with transaction fees. Unlike a lot of gifts, carefully considered donations for the poor are badly needed.
Of course, you might badly need your money, and there's nothing wrong with spending your gift cards on your bills. There's nothing wrong with spending your time and energy, too, on things besides celebrations run amok.
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