Single Non-Moms
I keep reading that single, childless women over a certain age are supposed to be miserable animal hoarders or trudging towards a future as a bag lady. I've often read about childless women who said they were heaped with judgment for not having kids. As a single, childless, 49-year-old woman, I wonder, Who are these people?
For over 20 years, I've said, "It's just me and the dog" when people ask if I'm married or have kids. Nobody's given me so much as a funny look. If the other single non-moms I know get the stink eye, they've never mentioned it. A few people have made comments suggesting they didn't think I had much money. Nothing insulting--one person asked how I got somewhere and seemed surprised when I said I drove. I took the bus to work at the time--and shopped at thrift stores and did all the home repairs I could do myself. But if my other coworkers were shocked when I bought a second house, they didn't act like it.
In fact, all the single non-moms I know are homeowners, even though most of us don't have high-paying jobs. One has a few houses she bought for a song, fixed up and now rents out. Even a former friend who flitted between part-time jobs and dated some flaky men is a nine-to-fiver and a homeowner now. I think any of us would be happy to find the right person, but we all got on with our lives anyway--lives that don't involve cat hoarding or pushing a cart anywhere but the grocery store.
As good as life is when you're not living in a hoarder house or a cardboard box, there's room for improvement. A new book or a way of doing things might have the odd useful suggestion for improvement, but I think most improvement comes from the regular stuff we know we should be doing. In other words, getting your act together.
For over 20 years, I've said, "It's just me and the dog" when people ask if I'm married or have kids. Nobody's given me so much as a funny look. If the other single non-moms I know get the stink eye, they've never mentioned it. A few people have made comments suggesting they didn't think I had much money. Nothing insulting--one person asked how I got somewhere and seemed surprised when I said I drove. I took the bus to work at the time--and shopped at thrift stores and did all the home repairs I could do myself. But if my other coworkers were shocked when I bought a second house, they didn't act like it.
In fact, all the single non-moms I know are homeowners, even though most of us don't have high-paying jobs. One has a few houses she bought for a song, fixed up and now rents out. Even a former friend who flitted between part-time jobs and dated some flaky men is a nine-to-fiver and a homeowner now. I think any of us would be happy to find the right person, but we all got on with our lives anyway--lives that don't involve cat hoarding or pushing a cart anywhere but the grocery store.
As good as life is when you're not living in a hoarder house or a cardboard box, there's room for improvement. A new book or a way of doing things might have the odd useful suggestion for improvement, but I think most improvement comes from the regular stuff we know we should be doing. In other words, getting your act together.
Comments